


The Sun Shines Bright

by orangepumpkins



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Gen, Happy Ending, References to Depression, Reincarnation, park ranger evan hansen, reading literally all of the tags thus far have spoiled this tbh, references to for forever and the ending monologue, teenager connor/oc?, uhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 14:05:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16812133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangepumpkins/pseuds/orangepumpkins
Summary: Dear, Evan Hansen,Today is going to be a good day, and here's why; because today no matter what else, you are you. So no hiding. No lying. Just you, and that's enough. Maybe someday... everything that happens. Will feel like a distant memory? Maybe someday no one will even remember about the Connor Project, or me. But maybe someday some other kid will be standing here, staring out at the trees feeling so alone. Wondering if maybe the world might look different from all the way up there. Better? And then maybe he'll start climbing one branch at a time, and then he'll keep going! Even when it seems like he can't find another foothold. Even when it feels hopeless like everything is telling him to let go. This time, this time he won't let go. He'll just hold on. He'll hold on and he'll keep going.Keep going until he sees the sun.-Years later when the Connor Project is just a distant memory, a lonely teenager finds himself climbing a tree.





	The Sun Shines Bright

**Author's Note:**

> I got a sudden urge to listen to the soundtrack the other day and then didn't stop for about three days. and then i finally watched it and got slapped in the face with this fic idea after listening to the ending monologue.
> 
> written open to the possibility of reincarnation but can be interpreted however you want. I only tagged the reincarnation just in case.

It is the end of an almost a picture perfect afternoon when a teenager climbs over the fence about an hour after CM Memorial Park closed its gates for the day. The park had been around as long as the teen could remember, although he vaguely remembers his parents telling him it used to only be an orchard before being sold with the surrounding land back to the city or something to open as a park when he was fairly young.

Walking against trees to avoid any employees that might still be around, the boy soon finds himself in the middle of the orchard that he used to play in when his parents used to bring him there as a kid. It had been a long time since the last time they were all there together. But it didn’t matter anymore.

Leaning against what has to be one of the largest and oldest trees in the area, the teenager brushes back a lock of unruly brunette hair that his mom keeps badgering him to cut, and looks up at the foliage above him. Large branches cover the majority of the sky beyond small slivers of blue that he can just barely make out beyond the dark green leaves and the spots of red of the few apples nearing the end of their season. All around him are trees for at least half a mile and it could be so easy to just fade away and be lost in the trees.

He is alone and could just get lost and everything could just fade away. And…and everything would be great.

A barely audible snap of a twig a distance away breaks the brunette out of his thoughts and invigorates within him with the need to hide. Looking frantically around, the teen can’t figure out where the noise came from and chooses the only place to go is up.

He is about ten feet up when the teen is starting to able to feel the slight increase of warmth on his back as he climbs above the first layer of branches. Climbing higher, he takes one branch after the other and feels warmer and lighter with every foot of height he takes.

And maybe it’s not so much about hiding anymore because maybe, just maybe, the boy thinks to himself that perhaps, the world could look different above the orchard. Maybe it could be better.

He’s up at least twenty-five feet high when he nearly slips with a faulty foothold, but something within him makes him hold on tighter than he knew he ever could, and he keeps going. He’s not even really aware of how he is able to, but he keeps going. He finds another foothold and keeps going. He pulls himself up with just the strength of his arms that he never knew he had and he keeps going.

He keeps going.

And when there is literally nothing left to climb, he looks across the park to find himself higher than nearly everything around. He finds himself with the sun shining on his face and he feels free.

The teenager isn’t quite sure how long he stays there, balancing precariously on one of the highest branches and hugging the trunk of what has to be the oldest tree in the park that must have been allowed to grow freely considering its height, but he thinks to himself, he wants to feel happy again. He wants to let himself feel happy again.

He just needs to ask for help.

Then there’s a slightly unnatural sounding cough and an awkward sounding voice calling out “Um, excuse me?”

Letting himself peak down, the teenager thinks he’s able to just barely make out the khaki coloured uniform of what must be a ranger.

“Are you uh, are you okay up there?” The ranger calls again and the teen feels compelled to reply, if only to ease the nervousness that is making itself apparent in the ranger’s voice.

“I’m great!” The teen shouts back. “The best I’ve been in a long time!”

“I’m happy for you, but could you please come down now? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

The teen contemplates the ranger’s advice and figures it’s probably smart and then tries to descend. Keyword being “tries”.

“Um…No can do.” The teen calls, ears burning with embarrassment.

“Please? I can tell you from experience that falling out of a tree and breaking your arm is a terrible experience, so I’d rather you do it too.”

“No, like, climbing up is apparently easier than climbing down and now I think I’m stuck.”

“Oh.”

“Please don’t tell my parents…”

“I’ll grab the ladder. Can you hold on for another ten minutes?” The ranger calls more confidently than before.

“I think so.”

It’s an embarrassing affair honestly to have to be saved from a tree by a park ranger who seems to resemble a scared rabbit despite being a study looking thirty-something, but it is a thing that the teen accepts and doesn’t let damper his new found good mood.

“Thanks…Ranger Hansen.” The teen says, reading the older man’s name tag after he climbs his way down the tallest ladder he’s ever seen. The ranger saved his butt, so he probably deserved to be addressed with his full title at least once.

Ranger Hansen smiles as he leans the now collapsed ladder against the tree and leads the teen out of the orchard. “You’re welcome. You do know that the park is closed now though, right?” He replies, scratching the dirty blonde hair near his temple.

It’s the teen’s turn to look awkward as he nods, only looking at his feet. “I won’t do it again. Probably.”

Ranger Hansen smiles like he’s laughing at a secret joke and nods. “I’ll take your word on it. I take it you enjoyed yourself then?”

The teen takes a moment to stare at the ranger with wide eyes, unused to not being chastised for his actions. “Y-yeah. I did.”

The ranger smile grows and it feels so genuine that the teen can’t help but to feel the corner of his lips pull up just the slightest in reply.

“I’m glad. The trees here are beautiful, if I do say so myself. But I would probably be happier to know you won’t be climbing alone after hours again.” The blonde says with a chuckle.

The teen puffs out a breath from his nose in amusement and jokes back, “I’ll be sure to find you to spot me next time I go climbing.”

Surprisingly, Ranger Hansen nods. “Not ideal but better than nothing.”

“You’re pretty weird, you know.” The teen laughs.

The older man ducks his head in embarrassment. “Sorry.”

The brunette laughs and lightly punches Ranger Hansen in the arm as they reach the park gate. “It’s a good thing. I’m pretty weird too.”

“Oh. Okay. Thank you then?” The man replies, eyebrows furrowed as if unsure what else to say. “Can you get home okay?...No, wait, that was insensitive…Do you have somewhere to go tonight? Wait, no that was worse. That was insensitive _and_ creepy. I’m sorry. I—“

Ranger Hansen is cut off by the teen bursting out in laughter. “Again. Weird.”

“Sorry.”

“And don’t worry your anxious little head over me, Hansen. My car is a block down and I very much plan on driving it back home. I’ve got shit to do tonight.” Such as admitting he has a problem to his parents and then asking them to bring him to therapy.

The blonde deflates in relief. “Okay. Okay, that is good.”

“I’ll see you around, Hansen.”

“I’d be happy to see you around if you come again.” Ranger Hansen smiles warmly in a way that reminds the teen of his grandfather. Like the welcoming smile of someone who has lived a long and eventful life.

The teen nods and shoves his hands into his pockets before saying, “Connor.”

“…Excuse me?” The ranger asks. The teen doesn’t see how his eyes almost seem to bug out in surprise.

Looking up from behind dark hair, the teen feels his right cheek lift up to form half of a smile, a nervous quirk that his friends would probably notice if he had any. “That’s my name. Connor.”

Ranger Hansen has a look on his face that Connor can’t quite read before it seems to morph into something akin to satisfaction and he nods. “It’s fitting.”

“Thanks?” Connor replies, unsure of what else to say, and Hansen seems to feel the same way considering how he wrings his hands before finally speaking up again.

“Do you mind if I ask you a question before you go? You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.”

“Now _that_ sounds like it could be creepy.” Connor laughs. He tacks on, “What’s your damn question, Hansen?” before the ranger can turn into a rambling mess like Connor is pretty sure he will.

“Oh, um. Are you happy Connor?” the blond asks as he stares at his feet, looking smaller than what has to be at least a 5’10” frame.

“What kind of question is that?” Connor barks before he can stop himself.

There’s silence for a moment before Connor lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and replies. “I’m not, really. Happy that is. I’m not happy right now, but I want to be and am going to try and get help to be.”

The ranger stares. “That’s,” He starts, his voice cracking slightly, “that’s good. I’m glad that you’re going to get help.” His hands curl up slightly, wrinkling his slacks and Connor isn’t quite sure what to do aside from clearing his throat awkwardly. “Sorry, that was probably really weird.” The older man says, fake-laughing in hopes to clear the air. “I promise not to bug you if you come to the park again.”

“Nah,” Connor finally replies, “I told you I’d come find you if I wanted to go tree climbing again, yeah?”

Ranger Hansen stares in surprise before he nods and his expression returns back to that warm smile again. “Yeah.”

And with that, Connor nods back and turns away to walk down the dirt road leading away from the park. When he looks back, Connor sees that Ranger Hansen is gone, likely to retrieve the ladder, but more importantly, he see that even what must be hours later, the sun still burns bright.

Connor lets himself smile.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! my time in the deh fandom kinda just feels like playing in a graveyard since I got into it after the hype died, but hopefully some of you found joy in reading my writing.
> 
> also, I feel it needs to be said that I'm very aware that things don't magically get better after someone makes the decision that they want to be better, but like, as someone who deals with pretty shit mental health at times, I like to think that when you decide you want to be get better and actively seek help, it's something and it matters.


End file.
